Do Opposites Attract?

Do opposites attract?

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Recently there has been much talk about opposites attracting. Instead of perceiving couples being different as a negative thing, the experts are now saying that the differences between the man and woman shouldn't be a source of friction but complementation. I think there needs to be a more involved discussion about this than just a blanket statement. Usually people are on one extreme or another: either opposites attract or they don't. So let's sparse it out and figure out how and why opposites attract and when it's not such a good idea:

3 Reasons why opposites attract:

1) You are weak in an area and you instinctively know what you need in the other person that will either help you in that area or make up for that area. You might have anger problems and the person you’re attracted to may be always gentle and kind and they teach you how to be that way. Or, you may be terrible at cooking and ironing, so you instinctively look for someone who is good at those things. They may not end up teaching you how to do those things, instead, they just end up doing those things for you on your behalf. This would be the complementation argument and very valid.

2) A way that complementation might NOT be good is if you are attracted to someone because they have something that you don’t that have always made you feel insecure. For example, if you’re not the best looking person and you’ve always felt rejection and self-conscious because of it, you may look for someone who is considered attractive by others’ standards. This is not the most healthy reason for opposites to attract.

3) Sometimes one person is a people person and the other one is not. The person that is outgoing usually needs someone who is quiet and introverted to learn to rest and take it easy. On the other hand, the person who is less outgoing will still feel the need for social interaction, because we all need it, and be drawn to someone who would more naturally create an environment where a lot of people would be around.

Why similarities are good:

1) I’ve heard that similarities in a relationship are like assets in a relationship. The more you have similarities, the more common bond you can have and time spent doing the things you like to do together.

2) Similar backgrounds are important too. Opposites attract when it comes to areas of personality strengths and weaknesses, however, when it comes to upbringing, cultural values and family dynamics, similarities can be a lifesaver.

3) Acclimation to money. Although this may sound vain and shallow, I assure you, this is one area where it is very difficult for opposites to attract. Let me show you why it’s not as bad as you think. Imagine you as a westerner who enjoys the comforts of life in a first world country going to live forever in a third world country. You would no longer have the comforts and conveniences of electricity, heating and air, clean water, and good food. Imagine how difficult that would be. Now, you weren’t born to not be able to handle those things. When we are born, we are all born with the same level of tolerance for our environments. But when you grow up in a certain setting, it is very difficult to acclimate to another environment. It is especially true when it comes to how much money one is used to having. Bottomline: if you’re a princess, don’t marry joe blue-collar